Once upon a time, there was this young girl who desperately wanted to be in love. She ended up meeting this boy she really liked and after a while of dating she told him that ‘she loved him’ This boy never told her he loved her and this made her worry a lot about whether he loved her back. So, she started to ask, ‘Do you love me though?’. Sometimes he would say yes I really like you, I think you are pretty, but she would quickly say, but do you love me though?

Sometimes ‘like’ is just not enough to hear, we crave the highest feeling ever that we can get from someone because it gives a stronger validation. For example, I would prefer to be told I look so beautiful than I look ok. The thing is we crave validation for so many different reasons, too many to get into. Sometimes it is even a subconscious thing and although we might say we are confident and we love ourselves, deep down we know what we want to hear and our actions and reactions don’t match.

If you are someone that can relate to this girl, I would say there is absolutely nothing wrong with seeking strong validation. And actually, there is nothing wrong in seeking it from others. The problem lies when you ONLY seek this from others because what happens is you will always want more than what you got, meanwhile you do not realise that you’ve been more, and more and more than what you are looking for. I don’t know if this makes sense but do not put yourself last in this seeking game. The best validation needs to come from yourself first so that when you receive mediocre, you are not bothered because you know who are. You are the best at your workplace, you are the prettiest, you dance better than everyone else, you deserve to be loved and spoilt romantically and not just liked. Affirming these things will make you content in who you are what you have to the extent that 1) You are not desperate for more and 2) Even if it would be nice to have/want/see more, you are just fine if it does not happen.

Fast forward to now, this girl wanted to hear that she was loved by the boy, but did she love herself?

 In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, I challenge you to rate yourself as highly as possible, if you feel you deserve more than a call or text on Val’s Day then that’s what it is lol. Do not wait for flowers and date nights to feel amazing about yourself, you already are!